Voting Station

Connie Hamzy

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Mistress

The Resume

    (January 9, 1955-August 21, 2021)
    Born in Little Rock, Arkansas
    Birth name was Connie Parente
    Rock groupie
    Escapades detailed in a ‘Cosmopolitan’ profile (1974), a ‘Penthouse’ tell-all article (1991), and the documentary ‘Let’s Spend the Night Together: Confessions of Rock’s Greatest Groupies’ (2011)
    Claimed to have had sexual encounters with (among others) Jimmy Page, John Bonham, Willie Nelson, Neil Diamond, Carlos Santana, Keith Moon, Huey Lewis, Don Henley, Joe Walsh, Eddie Van Halen, Alex Van Halen, Frank Zappa, Alice Cooper, Eddie Money, Stephen Stills, Graham Nash, Mick Fleetwood, John McVie, Peter Frampton, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Peter Criss, Rick Springfield, and Doc Severinsen

Why she might be annoying:

    She had her first groupie experience (with Steppenwolf drummer Jerry Edmonton) when she was only fifteen.
    She claimed that Bill Clinton propositioned her, but that they did not have sex because they could not find a private space.
    Clinton’s recollection was that Hamzy approached him in a hotel lobby, pulled down her bikini top, and asked, ‘What do you think of these?’
    Advisor George Stephanopoulos got affidavits from three people accompanying Clinton who supported his version of the encounter.
    An interviewer noted, ‘She is prone to outbursts that teeter precariously between the profane and the bizarre.’
    When Howard Stern asked if she resented rockers passing her around ‘like you’re a plate of potatoes,’ she replied, ‘Well, a plate of good potatoes.’

Why she might not be annoying:

    She claimed to have a special affinity for drummers. (She speculated that it was because they wanted to hear her recollections of John Bonham and Keith Moon.)
    She got namechecked in Grand Funk’s ‘We’re an American Band’: ‘Sweet, sweet Connie doing her act/She had the show and that’s a natural fact.’
    Appropriately, ‘We’re an American Band’ was written by Grand Funk’s drummer, Don Brewer.
    She may have been the main reason some bands included Little Rock on their tour schedules.
    Asked if she ever wanted a lasting relationship with a musician, she replied, ‘I do have relationships with them, really. I’ve known most of them for so long that we’re old friends.’
    Her biggest ‘the one who got away’ regret: Rush drummer Neil Peart.
    She declared that the best sex she had was with Alex Van Halen.

Credit: C. Fishel


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 6 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 164 Votes: 43.29% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 82 Votes: 47.56% Annoying