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St. Valentine

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Religious Figure

The Resume

    ( -February 14, 270)
    Believed to have lived as a Christian priest in Rome during the reign of Emperor Claudius
    Beheaded by Roman authorities (February 14, 270 AD)
    Canonized by Pope Gelasius and given an official Catholic holiday (496-1969 AD)
    Nickname is the 'patron saint of lovers'

Why he might be annoying:

    Though many celebrate the day of his death, nobody really knows his story.
    He himself was dedicated to chastity and had no significant other.
    His holiday is the subject of a really crappy horror movie.
    For people who are ugly or unlovable, his holiday is fruitless and depressing.
    There are at least three stories which exist about why exactly he became a saint and the only real thing they all have in common is that it ends with Valentine being beheaded by Claudius.
    Some believe his holiday was the Catholic version of the Roman feast of Lupercalia, which preceded the celebration of the goddess of love, Juno, on February 14th.
    The original Roman version of the holiday involved a love lottery, in which young men drew names of young women and whoever they picked, they could have sex with her for a year.
    Pope Gelasius changed it to Valentines Day and the rules were that a young man would draw the name of a saint and were supposed to emulate the saint drawn for a year (What the hell?).
    Many scholars believe he never really existed at all.

Why he might not be annoying:

    Although the Catholic Church retired his holiday from their official calender, people still celebrate it.
    He barely gets any recognition on the holiday which is named after him.
    Of the three stories, one tells the story of Valentine, the man who was beheaded by Emperor Claudius for refusing to give up Christianity, on the same day which was devoted to love lotteries. Another tale tells of Valentine, who, in defiance to Claudius' anti-marriage laws created to expand the military, marries couples anyway, resulting in his beheading. And finally, the third tale is of a man named Valentine who was arrested for being a Christian and fell in love with his jailers daughter, in which, he wrote a note professing his love to her, signing it 'your Valentine.'
    Despite Pope Gelasius' wishes, his holiday turned back into a holiday about love and lust.

Credit: Captain Howdy


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    For 2024, as of last weekly ranking, Out of 189 Votes: 69.31% Annoying
    In 2023, Out of 1032 Votes: 45.25% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 6 Votes: 16.67% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 130 Votes: 45.38% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 427 Votes: 50.12% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 314 Votes: 50.32% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 256 Votes: 48.05% Annoying
    In 2017, Out of 11 Votes: 36.36% Annoying
    In 2016, Out of 14 Votes: 7.14% Annoying
    In 2015, Out of 16 Votes: 31.25% Annoying
    In 2014, Out of 100 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2013, Out of 305 Votes: 66.23% Annoying
    In 2012, Out of 714 Votes: 48.60% Annoying
    In 2011, Out of 268 Votes: 46.27% Annoying
    In 2010, Out of 681 Votes: 44.05% Annoying
    In 2009, Out of 165 Votes: 35.76% Annoying
    In 2008, Out of 62 Votes: 37.10% Annoying
    In 2007, Out of 281 Votes: 44.13% Annoying
    In 2006, Out of 111 Votes: 44.14% Annoying
    In 2005, Out of 297 Votes: 43.77% Annoying
    In 2004, Out of 355 Votes: 43.66% Annoying