The Resume

(1791-1868)
Resided in Nantucket, Massachusetts
Captain of the whaling ship 'Essex'
Left Nantucket for a 2½ year whale hunt (1819)
Rammed by a crazed sperm whale (November 20, 1820)
Set adrift with members of his crew in a rowboat

Why he might be annoying:

After his ship sank, he rowed away from Tahiti, because he was afraid of cannibals there.
Because he went the other way, his crew wound up eating each other (oh, the irony!).
He approved of drawing lots to decide which sailors would be killed for food.
The first man to be shot and eaten was his own cousin.
He was one of only two survivors of the boat (so much for the captain going down with the ship).
He ate six people in all.
He only commanded a ship once more, and that ship also sank.
Afterwards, he could only find work as a night watchman.
When asked if he knew a sailor on the 'Essex,' he reportedly said: 'Know him? Why, I Et him!'

Why he might not be annoying:

At 28, he was one of the youngest whaling captains.
He survived 95 days under horrific circumstances.
He managed to travel 3,500 miles in a rowboat.
The 'I et him' anecdote probably isn't true.
His story inspired Herman Melville to write 'Moby-Dick.'

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• Cursed
• I was Injured by Animals
• Look at Me and My Pet
• Look at Me, I'm Wet
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• Profiles 12751-13000 (Ranked: 12826)
• Seamen
• Watch Out! I Bite
• Wieland Kalligaro's Profiles [Series 4]
• Wife Beaters and Alleged Domestic Abusers

Year In Review:

In 2023, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 2 Votes: 100% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 8 Votes: 87.50% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 7 Votes: 42.86% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 10 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 3 Votes: 66.67% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 10 Votes: 80.0% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 18 Votes: 55.56% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 19 Votes: 52.63% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 19 Votes: 68.42% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 19 Votes: 63.16% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 54 Votes: 64.81% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 34 Votes: 61.76% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 65 Votes: 73.85% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 73 Votes: 67.12% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 114 Votes: 65.79% Annoying
In 2005, Out of 288 Votes: 69.79% Annoying
In 2004, Out of 101 Votes: 53.47% Annoying