The Resume

( -1520)
Rose from being trained as a priest to becoming ruler of the Aztec Empire, succeeding Emperor Ahuitzotl (1502)
Reigned as Emperor of the Aztecs (1502-1520)
Waged constant war during his reign and conquered many neighboring tribes
Presided during the Spanish conquests of Central America
Succeeded by the last Aztec ruler, Guatemotzin
The most familiar figure in Aztec history

Why he might be annoying:

He was an egomaniac and displayed himself very theatrically in front of his people and the Spanish.
His regime embodied religious sacrifice, and he sponsored many bloody and gruesome displays of pointless religious sacrifice.
One Spanish observer describes these sacrificial ceremonies '...the men or women who were to be sacrificed to their gods were thrown on their backs and of their own accord remained perfectly still. A priest then came out with a stone knife...and with his knife he opened the part where the heart is and took out the heart, without the person who was being sacrificed uttering a word...'
He was unable to defeat 500 Spanish conquistadors even though he had an empire of over five million people.
He even invited the Spanish to Tenochtitlan without any military resistance, believing them to be descendants of the fabled Aztec god, Quetzalcoatl.
After realizing the threat they posed to the Aztecs, his ingenious idea was to give them gold until they decided to leave. (Great idea, dipshit.)
He was easily captured by Cortés and held hostage in his palace.
His 18 year reign saw the Golden Age and the downfall of Aztec civilization.
Many people still waste their time searching for Montezuma's gold.

Why he might not be annoying:

The last moments of his life saw him as a puppet of Spanish occupying forces.
As the population of Tenochtitlan started to revolt against Spanish occupation, Hernando Cortés, fearful of the sheer numbers of the Aztec people, ordered Montezuma to try to quell the resistance of his people. As he tried to tell his people to yield to Spanish occupation, he was stoned to death by his own people (Hows that for a humble end?).
He was a chocolate lover, even saying it could bring about divine power.
He was a victim of having a resources valued by superior foreign powers.
He remains to this day to be an important figure in Mexican cultural heritage.

Credit: Captain Howdy

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• Allegedly Gay Men
• Captain Howdy's Profiles [Series 1]
• Civilization [Video Game Series]
• Diego Rivera Portraits
• I am Mexican
• Known By a Single Name
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• Look at My Bling Bling
• Monarchs, Royalty and Nobles
• New World Royalty
• Profiles 8001-8250 (Ranked: 8202)
• Satirized on Rocky and Bullwinkle

Year In Review:

In 2023, Out of 11 Votes: 54.55% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 1 Votes: 0% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 10 Votes: 70.0% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 27 Votes: 22.22% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 31 Votes: 51.61% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 30 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 12 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 4 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 10 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 27 Votes: 55.56% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 38 Votes: 52.63% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 17 Votes: 64.71% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 21 Votes: 76.19% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 89 Votes: 69.66% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 74 Votes: 68.92% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 35 Votes: 54.29% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 67 Votes: 55.22% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 90 Votes: 64.44% Annoying
In 2005, Out of 229 Votes: 68.12% Annoying
In 2004, Out of 262 Votes: 66.03% Annoying
In 2003, Out of 301 Votes: 54.82% Annoying