The Resume

(June 28, 1577-May 30, 1640)
Birth name was Pieter Pauwel Rubens
Grew up in Antwerp, Flanders, Belgium
Painted ‘The Three Graces,’ ‘The Raising of the Cross,’ ‘The Descent of the Cross,’ ‘Assumption of the Virgin Mary,’ ‘The Garden of Love,’ ‘The Judgment of Paris,’ ‘The Massacre of the Innocents,’ ‘The Adoration of the Magi,’ ‘Portrait of Marie de’ Medici’ and ‘Self-Portrait Without a Hat’

Why he might be annoying:

He married a sixteen-year-old girl when he was 53.
He got her pregnant five times over the next ten years.
He had a thing for fat chicks.
Many of his paintings are of nude overweight women.
In fact, ‘Rubens-esque’ has come to be a PC euphemism for ‘obese.’

Why he might not be annoying:

He suffered from gout.
He was born in exile because his father had slept with a Flemish princess.
He was made a diplomat by the Spanish Habsburg court.
He was knighted by King Charles I for negotiating peace treaties between England and Spain.
He didn’t live to see the birth of his youngest child.
His paintings make chubby women look sexy.

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro

Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

• 17th Century Painters
• Alleged Kid Lovers
• Exiles
• I Got Gout
• Knights
• Look at Me, My Picture Is Art
• My Spouse is at Least Ten Years Younger than Me
• Old Dads
• Painters
• People who Have Similar Names on Am I Annoying (Ranked: 171)
• Posthumous New Dads
• Profiles 14001-14250 (Ranked: 14221)
• Walruses
• Wieland Kalligaro's Profiles [Series 5]

Year In Review:

In 2023, Out of 7 Votes: 14.29% Annoying
In 2022, Out of 11 Votes: 18.18% Annoying
In 2021, Out of 11 Votes: 45.45% Annoying
In 2020, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2019, Out of 20 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
In 2018, Out of 11 Votes: 45.45% Annoying
In 2017, Out of 43 Votes: 79.07% Annoying
In 2016, Out of 18 Votes: 88.89% Annoying
In 2015, Out of 15 Votes: 13.33% Annoying
In 2014, Out of 18 Votes: 44.44% Annoying
In 2013, Out of 22 Votes: 40.91% Annoying
In 2012, Out of 20 Votes: 60.0% Annoying
In 2011, Out of 20 Votes: 55.00% Annoying
In 2010, Out of 112 Votes: 72.32% Annoying
In 2009, Out of 60 Votes: 41.67% Annoying
In 2008, Out of 46 Votes: 43.48% Annoying
In 2007, Out of 94 Votes: 47.87% Annoying
In 2006, Out of 116 Votes: 45.69% Annoying
In 2005, Out of 158 Votes: 53.80% Annoying