Voting Station

Michael Dean Cohen

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Attorney

The Resume

    (July 25, 1966- )
    Born in Long Island, New York
    Personal attorney for Donald Trump
    Has served as Executive Vice-President of the Trump Organization, co-President of Trump Entertainment, and as a board member of the Eric Trump Foundation
    Appointed Deputy Finance Chair of the Republican National Committee (2017)
    Plead guilty to 8 criminal charges (August 21, 2018)

Why he might be annoying:

    He ran unsuccessfully for New York City Council (2003) and New York State Senate (2010).
    He said of his reputation as Trump’s ‘pit bull, ’If somebody does something Mr. Trump doesn't like, I do everything in my power to resolve it to Mr. Trump's benefit. If you do something wrong, I'm going to come at you, grab you by the neck and I'm not going to let you go until I'm finished.‘
    He allegedly threatened to sue the makers of ‘Sharknado 3’ for casting Mark Cuban instead of Trump as the fictional president in the movie.
    Up until he joined the Trump presidential campaign, he was a registered Democrat.
    He explained his disappointment with President Obama by claiming,’ I am most irritated with the fact that this president has been exceptionally secretive when it relates to any personal documentation about his past,’ yet he had no problems working for a candidate who refused to release his tax returns.
    When the Daily Beast publicized a section of Ivana Trump’s biography in which she alleged spousal rape by Donald, Cohen responded, ‘By the very definition, you can’t rape your spouse.’
    He paid porn star Stormy Daniels $130,000 in hush money from his own funds to keep her from discussing an alleged affair with Trump.

Why he might not be annoying:

    His father is a Holocaust survivor.
    He said, ‘I’ve been admiring Donald Trump since I was in high school,’ and that he read Trump’s ‘The Art of the Deal’ cover to cover, twice.
    He did not join in Trump’s birtherism nonsense: ‘I am certain that the president was born in Hawaii.’
    After a contentious exchange on CNN with Brianna Keilear in which she told Cohen that Trump was behind Hilary Clinton in ‘all the polls,’ he accurately predicted, ‘You’re going to all be very surprised when he polls substantially higher than what any of you are giving him credit for.’
    He demonstrates the loyalty that Trump values, telling reporters, ‘I’m the guy who would take a bullet for the president.’

Credit: C. Fishel


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 46 Votes: 69.57% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 26 Votes: 23.08% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 85 Votes: 51.76% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 5 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 293 Votes: 55.29% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 461 Votes: 65.94% Annoying