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Dylan McWilliams

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Adventurer

The Resume

    (circa 1998- )
    Resident of Grand Junction, Colorado
    Hiker and backpacker
    Bitten by a rattlesnake in Utah (2015)
    Bitten by a black bear while sleeping at Glacier View Ranch in Colorado; needed nine staples to close a head wound (July 9, 2017)
    Bitten by a tiger shark while body boarding off Kauai, Hawaii; required seven stitches in his leg (April 19, 2018)
    Odds of being bitten by a venomous snake in the US: 1 in 37,500
    Odds of being attacked by a bear in the US: 1 in 2.1 million
    Odds of being attacked by a shark in American waters: 1 in 11.5 million
    Odds of all three events happening to the same person: 1 in 893 quadrillion

Why he might be annoying:

    Judging from those odds, he is the unluckiest guy on the planet.
    He decided not to go to the hospital for the snake bite even though he was sick for two days.
    Rather ironically, he was working as a wilderness survival teacher when he was attacked by the bear.
    Asked if he expects another dangerous encounter with wildlife, he said, ‘I hope not, but I spend most of my time outside with animals, so I guess anything could happen.’
    He said, ‘Ever since I was little, I’ve wanted to be like Steve Irwin.’ (Um, you do remember what happened to Irwin, don’t you?)

Why he might not be annoying:

    He survived all three attacks, so maybe he is actually the luckiest guy on the planet.
    His grandfather – perhaps aware of some family curse about to strike the kid – began teaching him wilderness survival techniques when he was three or four.
    He got the black bear to drop him by punching it in the eye and nose.
    When he arrived at the hospital after the shark attack, there was a one-hour wait to see a doctor.
    Despite the run of attacks, he said ‘I’m still going to go camping, and sleeping under the stars, and surfing and swimming.’

Credit: C. Fishel


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2022, Out of 9 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 9 Votes: 88.89% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 1 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 4 Votes: 100% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 2 Votes: 50.0% Annoying