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St. Patrick
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Religious Figure
    (circa 385-493)
    Bishop of the Christian church at Armagh, Ireland
    Wrote ‘Confessio’
    Catholic feast day is March 17th
    Nobody remembers much about him.
    People think they are celebrating March 17th for his birth, but it is his death.
    Despite being the patron saint of Ireland, he was really Welsh (or possibly even French).
    People say he chased all the snakes out of Ireland, but there actually were none to begin with.
    He harassed the Irish people into giving up their paganism and becoming Christians.
    By bringing Christianity to Ireland, he set the stage for centuries of brutal conflict between Catholics and Protestants.
    Although he worked to eliminate paganism, anthropologists consider St. Patrick’s Day an adaptation of the pagan fertility festival (sorry, Paddy).
    Many use his feast day as an excuse to get drunk and urinate in the streets.
    The New York City parade in his honor has become controversial. Gays wish to march in the parade causing great repulsion among Catholic leaders.
    He established Christianity as the dominant religion in Ireland, which it still is today.
    The country became fully Christian just 200 years after his ministry.
    He was a gifted speaker.
    He was kidnapped from Britain and sold as a slave to Irish Druids.
    His holiday is enjoyed by alcoholics around the world.

Credit: Wieland Kalligaro

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