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Blake Farenthold
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U.S. Congressman
    (December 12, 1961- )
    Born in Corpus Christi, Texas
    Birth name was Randolph Blake Farenthold
    Represented Texas’s 27th Congressional District
    First elected on November 2, 2010
    Announced he would not run for re-election in 2018 (December 14, 2017)
    He was photographed at a fundraiser cavorting with lingerie-clad women while wearing a blue onesy with a yellow duck pattern (2009).
    After the ‘Access Hollywood’ tape of Donald Trump boasting about grabbing women ‘by the pussy’ surfaced, he was asked what it would take to rescind his endorsement of Trump. Asked hypothetically if Trump saying ‘I really like raping women’ would be sufficient, he replied that he would ‘have to consider it.’
    After he blamed Susan Collins and other ‘female Senators from the Northeast’ for the failure to repeal Obamacare, he added, ‘If it were a guy from Texas, I might ask him to step outside and settle this Aaron Burr-style.’ (No word if Zell Miller would be his second.)
    Multiple aides described him flying off the handle over minor mistakes, including pounding on his desk and swearing at staffers.
    They also reported that he repeatedly commented on female aides’ breasts and buttocks.
    He denied the sexual comments, but admitted to calling staffers ‘fucktards,’ while claiming it had been ‘in jest, not anger.’
    He paid $84,000 of taxpayers’ money to settle a sexual harassment suit filed by a former staffer (2015).
    When Farenthold was ten, his father was murdered in a gangland-style slaying to keep him from testifying against a group of con men who had tried to defraud him of $100,000 (1972).
    After considering it, he decided liking rape would be a deal breaker and added, ‘I apologize for my failure to immediately condemn anyone who would say something as outrageous as they like raping women... I do not, and have not ever condoned rape or violence against women.’
    Shortly after his dueling remarks, a hot mic caught Collins calling him ‘so unattractive, it’s unbelievable.’
    He and Collins exchanged apologies.
    He announced he would reimburse the government for the money paid to settle the harassment suit. (Although, oddly, he did not see any need for restitution until after details of the settlement leaked to the public.)

Credit: C. Fishel

    For 2020, as of last week, Out of 9 Votes: 77.78% Annoying
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