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The Shulamite Woman

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Biblical Character

The Resume

    Unnamed female protagonist in the Song of Songs of The Bible
    Resided in an unidentified location known as Shulem
    Beauty is praised - presumably by King Solomon - in the Song

Why she might be annoying:

    She was probably a concubine.
    She is confused with a character in the Book of Kings (the 'Shunammite Woman').
    Solomon loved her enough to write a whole book extolling her virtues but couldn't bother to name the lady? What gives!
    She is frequently depicted bare chested.
    According to the narrator/Solomon's nuptials, she has 'eyes like doves,' 'hair like a flock of goats,' a 'neck like the tower of David,' and 'breasts like two fawn gazelles.'
    This description has inspired several satirical graphic illustrations, literally showing the 'woman' with doves for eyes and a tower for a neck (apparently these people have never heard of 'a metaphor').

Why she might not be annoying:

    She was the subject of perhaps the earliest and most famous love ballad.
    Much of the Song of Songs is written from her perspective (describing her dreams to friends and - by extension - the reader).
    She was either the daughter or wife of a shepherd before entering Solomon's harem.
    It can be judged from the text that Solomon viewed her as an equal.
    Lillian Hellman drew the name for her play 'The Little Foxes' from a speech she gives ('Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines').

Credit: BoyWiththeGreenHair


Featured in the following Annoying Collections:

Year In Review:

    In 2023, Out of 6 Votes: 50.0% Annoying
    In 2022, Out of 2 Votes: 0% Annoying
    In 2021, Out of 10 Votes: 80.0% Annoying
    In 2020, Out of 3 Votes: 33.33% Annoying
    In 2019, Out of 5 Votes: 20.0% Annoying
    In 2018, Out of 14 Votes: 57.14% Annoying